the honeymoon is over

It's been a year and 3 mo. living in the desert and I have to say that the magic is more elusive and the loneliness of the landscape more tangible. The lack of leaves on the adolescent trees make it seem more barren and inhospitable. The desert seems more and more stark to me these days. The line between sky and earth is too well-defined, too much of a contrast with no trees or other greenery to soften the transition. I haven't been feeling embraced by the landscape but more abandoned. And the quiet that I've gushed about in the past is now a torment, a reminder of how far out in the middle of nowhere I am. I am even having trouble enjoying the clear and dark night skies and the moonshine on the desert floor. Its just too much openness - sky and creosote flats, blue and light brown for miles.

It must be that the honeymoon is over. A change is brewing. Something is needed to bring the connection to spirit back into my life. What the change will be is uncertain. What is certain is that the desert is strong medicine. And too much of any strong medicine can be hard to swallow.