you can always start again

Its been a month since I last posted. My aim was to post everyday. But I haven't. I've been busy fighting other battles, enjoying life, enjoying friends, loved ones and the natural world. Life's been good. And when it wasn't that was OK too.

I've heard people say in response to my description of my current home: "Oh, I couldn't live there. I couldn't be that isolated." Or in response to the fact that I grew up in LA, "Oh, I couldn't live in LA - too much traffic, too many egos, too many people." But I've lived in both and the amazing thing is that despite their differences, my life is surprisingly similar whether I am in LA or in the middle of the Mojave desert. I eat the same foods, have about equal social engagement (sometimes more in the desert), do the same work on the same computer, have the same phone meetings. The main difference is that in LA I have more conveniences while in Joshua Tree beauty is the only convenience. I have stars, quiet, sunsets, sunrises, open landscape and miles of views. In LA, I can walk to Whole Foods to feed my cravings and participate in consumer culture. The biggest struggle for me in Joshua Tree is when I am alone at the house and feel so separate from community and so alone. The best thing to do when I feel this way is to accept it. To face it head on. To truly feel how it feels to be alone - in my body, in my heart, in my mind. If I face it, I realize it isn't such a scary demon afterall.

So I'm back and hope to begin writing again. Reflecting on the day to day, on the moments that pass between now and then. The only way to know where to go next in life is to be fully present in my current reality. Only then can I know what the next step will be.

XOXO